Finding Water: Intro and Week 1

Finding Water: Julia Cameron’s Third in the Artist Way series

A few years ago I attempted to work through this book but didn’t make it through it. As I attempt to make the journey through it this time I’m finding it quite a different experience.

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Week 1-Uncovering a sense of Optimism: Being a beginner, focusing on the positive

Julia Cameron said: It took courage to allow myself to pursue something that I loved. I had to allow myself the luxury of learning. I had to focus on process and not on finished product. Resign competition. Stop comparing myself to my idols. When taking lessons, I have noticed how often my “good” lesson come on days when I had the most resistance, When I felt myself to be the most rusty. I have learned good writing/creating and good moods do not necessarily go together. On some of my worst days, the best work emerges. How true this is for me.

The Diving Rod portion: Don’t rob ourselves of the opportunity to be a beginner, Being a beginner is very rewarding. It brings both excitement and self-respect. Write down a deferred dream….

I’m living my dream, but I do have dreams that I’ve deferred. Dreams like having an actual studio. Creating my own journal classes. Making enough money at my “creative content business” to be financially independent. Writing a book about Creativity, Creative Journaling… and actually publishing it, as well as finishing my fiction novel and publishing. Getting back into blogging on a regular basis and doing well with it. Getting fit and healthy, which is something I’m currently working on. Some of what I’ve deferred as been because of self doubt, fear, and or procrastination (usually stemming from that self doubt/fear. But I’m working on pursuing my goals and dreams and working on an action plan for some of what I really want and need in life.

Encouragement portion: All artists need co-conspirators to cheer them on in their endeavors. Stay the distance. Don’t quit. How do people do that? How did they keep their optimism and their courage intact? We all need help sometimes. No man is an island… we need support, and we need to stay open to allowing others to help us.

Cameron wrote: “You’re lucky you’ve got other projects,” Bruce told us. His hint was spoken as a true artist. He was reminding us that the joy had to lie in the process and not in the product. Doing the work was the best cure for the difficulty of doing the work…shared the minute we were back at the piano in creative waters our anxiety eased.”

One of the things that really resonated with me was the premise that when we’re actively working, though Cameron said “busy,” we get better. And the more creative I am, the more productive I am, the better I feel, the more creative I feel. As long as I don’t over do it, and don’t allow myself to over work, and then get overwhelmed, I find myself feeling much better and I want to work, am creative.

Divining Rod portion: Make a list of people you can go to for encouragement. These people are your “believing mirrors.” For me, there are a few close family members I can rely on, and a few inside of my core circle or tribe that are my believing mirrors. I owe it to myself to keep in regular contact with them. and to be believing mirrors to them as well.

Focusing portion: As an artist, I must take the time to see. My artist’s eye must be schooled in the particular. It is not healthy for me as an artist to be tuned to the inner movies, always watching the “What if, if only I had’s” as they unspool on the inner screen. (“what if I keep my ranch in New Mexico?” “If only I still had my horses.”) The “What if” and “if only” are poison for an artist. They throw us into the past, which is not good. They dull our lens on the passing world. And it is the passing world that inspiration lies in wait for us. For an artist to be vital, for the work to hold up, there must be primacy given to the here and now. Cameron also shares that she knows this and must work to practice it. If I live in the “then” instead of the “now,” the art dries up.

Cameron also said, “I must work to husband my own optimism. I must cling to the small and positive: walking the dogs, putting words on the page, taking time at the keys of the piano. I must not entertain the large and overwhelming. For me that is romancing trouble. this is so true.Learn to live each day carefully. I must write, I must walk, I must pray. I must content myself with small amounts of progress. Above all, I must not binge on drama and despair. My sanity requires daily maintenance.”

Divining Rod portion: “I can choose to focus on the negative or the positive. I find that when I focus on the positive I feel much happier with myself and what I’m doing, I have a better attitude, and I tend to like and enjoy what I’m doing much better. Cameron, and others, talk about “training our eyes on something” and if we literally can learn to do that we can train ourselves to focus on the positive, the beauty, gratitude, the areas of our lives that bring us inspiration, as well as provide and reward us with even more creativity, grace, beauty, and energize us. “

Make a list of five beautiful things you have spotted and write them down nightly as a new practice. I find that when I do this it rises to moment of pure gratitude too.

  • the way my husband believes in me and supports me, even though he works extremely long hours yet still takes the time to help me and remind me to take care of myself
  • the way the singing of the birds in our yard fills me to the brim with joy
  • the way the birds and squirrels play and feed in the yard, and I’m able to watch them from our kitchen window
  • the way the breeze touches me when I’m outdoors and fills me the energy of life.
  • the way my daughter encourages me even when she’s going through her own stuff

Grounding portion: “I strive for a sense of optimism, a feeling that as small as I am, what I am doing still matters in the scheme of things. Optimism is partially the happy accident of psycho dynamics and partially a trained response. Some people seem to be born optimists. The rest of us need to work at it a little. One way to work it is to find and talk to a friend that has some spiritual vitamins stored up to share. Some one with farseeing perspective. “You just need to keep the faith while things unfold.” or become revealed to you. Unfortunately, Spirit is vague about timing. Soon it will happen…What “soon” means to me is to keep on trying.” Don’t quit right before the miracle. Show up bit the bullet and focus.” Cameron also says, “I cannot give up just because the going is tough right now. “Soon” there will be more interest. I must be ready to receive that interest by having kept the faith myself. This means I must buck the tide of discouragement.”

She also states: “Important stuff I find for myself–I walk for Guidance. One thing that I didn’t anticipate when I was younger is how often the going gets rough. As an older artist, I tend to work on larger projects, projects that require years rather than months or weeks to germinate and come to fruition. There is not instant feedback loop. Nothing that says to me often and loudly, “You are doing fine.” In order to have that sense of reassurance, I need to work at the spiritual practice-morning pages, artists dates, and walks. And I must listen also to my friends. Piggyback on their faith when my own faith wears thin. Fatigue can make it hard to have faith. Too much busyness can make it had to have faith. Too much or too little solitude can impact faith. For that matter, so can ab out of hunger or overwork, anything carried to an extreme. Faith thrives on routine. Faith keeps on keeping on. A friend of Cameron’s said, ‘I had to do something with my creative energy or it was going to turn in on me. Doing something productive regardless of the outcome is an act of faith. The doing of a small something when a large something is too much for us is perhaps especially and act of faith. Faith means going forward by whatever means we can.”‘

Cameron said, “Just do the next right thing.’

Divining Rod portion: What actions keep you grounded? The smallest and gentlest acts keep us grounded. As we husband our lives with care and attention, we are rewarded with feelings of peace and accomplishment. List five homely actions that are grounding for you. Execute one of them.

  • washing dishes
  • walking in our yard
  • sitting at the picnic table in the mornings with my cup of coffee and writing morning pages
  • talking to my husband
  • spending time with family

Possibilities: Cameron talks about her two dogs, straining at their leashes, and they, too, are bundled in coats. How she admires the early flowers, Tiger Lily plunges in pursuit of a robin. And laughs and tells herself she is a perfect artist’s dog, always chasing something that is just out of reach- a possibility. She says, “I must work a little at a time, always laboring to bring into form something just beyond my reach. I am like Tiger Lily, leaping after that elusive bird. One day, I will catch it. At the least, I will certainly try. As artists, we must learn to try. We must learn to act affirmatively. Wherever creativity is afoot, so is a blossoming. All creative acts are acts of initiative. We start with nothing- “the verdant void” -and impregnate it with our own creative spark. Art is born, but not without labor on our part. In order to make art, we must be willing to labor. We must be willing to reach inside and draw forth what we find their. On an inner plane, we are all connected to a larger whole. This is what is meant by inspiration, this connections to something greater than ourselves. But it begins with where w are and what we are. it begins with possibility.Entertaining the possible is the province of art. It is the possible that sets the creative engine humming.
“it is possible,” the artist thinks, “that I can write a play.”
“it is possible, I can make a sculpture.”
“it is possible I can make a film.”
Out of the notion, “I can” comes the next thought: I think I will.” The impulse is playful. Like the crocus that pushes into spring willy-nilly, the artist also pushes forward into growth.

Divining Rod portion: Very often we are our own wet blanket. We do not allow ourselves to see and to seize our opportunities. list ten phrases…”I could try_____” fill in the blank with what ever comes to mind. Write very rapidly and do not concern yourself with the practicality of your responses.

I could try:

  • Creating creative journaling classes… and easy quick one, like for Skillshare
  • Vlogging my daily walks
  • Purging the clothes I’ve held onto that I know I really need to get rid of
  • Finishing the projects I’ve started, the one’s I am really interested in, and letting go of the projects that just don’t resonate
  • Quasi scripting my coffee chat videos so I stay focused
  • Taking an in person art class
  • Taking a photography class
  • Taking a writing class
  • Creating an outline for my Creative Journaling book

Years ago when I first tried to work through the 12 week self guided course of Finding Water, I found that it was too similar to The Artist Way, but I’d just finished that book and I should have waited a while longer before starting Finding Water. This time around I find the book much more interesting.

I learned so much from The Artist Way, and since I’m really working hard to get out of the limbo, sort of auto pilot state I’ve been in for the past 2 years, I thought working through Finding Water would be a good way to do that. I’m not pressuring myself to rush through the the course. If some weeks it takes me 2 weeks to work through what is supposed to be for one week, I’m hoping to really get back into the swing of things, but since I’ve been ordered by my doctor to take it easy for a week (my rotator cuff is acting up again and I had to go get a steroid shot and they prescribed steroids and pain medication) so walking for the next few days is limited to just walking around the yard, but I can at least get outside and walk a bit. I’m feeling inspired, more open-minded, more creative, and better overall since I started working through Finding Water. I hope you’ll join me… you can do it at your liesure or work through as suggested by Cameron. I know people who have chosen to work on the 12 week program in 12 months instead.

Art is for Anyone | Art is for All

In Thomas Merton’s book “No Man is an Island,” he said, “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” That quote is one that really resonates with me–art is a form of mediation, therapy, creativity, and fun for me. It’s a time to relax. To let go. To create. To play. And I do often find myself in the “zone.” That zone where you’re present in the moment and you are so focused on the “creating” or the “doing,” that you pay little attention, if any at all, to anything else. 


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Not the noise that was in your head before you started… that voice of “I can’t draw…paint…I’m not any good at this…” or the noise of cars passing by outside or the children next door in their yard yelling at each other (mostly it’s the oldest boy yelling at his younger siblings, mostly his younger sister–par for the course with siblings sometimes). Or the people across the street revving the engine on the vehicle they’re fixing or the planes from the Air Force Base.  Sometimes I listen to a podcast, a book on Audible, or a YT video while I create, other times I just listen to instrumental music and/or RainyMoods, though lately I haven’t needed to listen to RainyMood because it’s been raining here on and off for weeks. 

Yet there have been times when I have not been successful at shutting out that naysayer voice. The voice that wants to whisper in my ear that I have no idea of what I’m doing, that I am not any good, that I’m not an ARTIST and I shouldn’t be doing any of this–I’m a fake, a lousy piece of shit fake and I need to just stop and get real with myself. It hasn’t happened in a long while but it used to happen a lot. Especially in the beginning. 

 

Back in November or December of 2014 I fell down the rabbit hole of what some call Hobonichi or Fauxbonichi style journaling, or what others just call documenting your life in a journal. I fell in love with it. I was hooked. But I didn’t have much in the way of supplies. My wonderful daughter, who is an artist, gave me some supplies, like Prismacolor pencils and Prismacolor watercolor pencils and it wasn’t long before I was adding little drawings that I’d color in or watercolor (learning how to use the watercolor pencils was trial and error) on my journal pages. In February of 2015, I had surgery (a hysterectomy) and was bed/couch bound at first, which meant cradling the laptop in my lap to write was uncomfortable, but putting the journal on a pillow in my lap was not–and I delved into journal and art prompts, along with documenting my day in my journal. 

I wanted to make my journals more than just personal reflections of my thoughts and feelings, vent sessions, or bit of notes, ideas… I wanted some of my journals to be keepsakes.  I kept at it. With help from fellow #fauxbonichi journalers I learned how to incorporate art, pictures, words, quotes, prompts…onto my journal pages. I didn’t want to stop there though so I started looking around social media for other ways to document your life in your journals. I learned about an Omni Journal from Rhomany of Rhomany’s Realm, and MissVickyB. I learned about world of Hobonichi’s, as well as Sketch Journals or Artist’s Journals or “Real Life Journals” from artists like
Gwen Diehn, Cathy Johnson, Danny Gregory , Liz Steele, and Gina Rossi Armfield. But it didn’t stop with books or sketchbooks. I found my way down the rabbit hole of paper…

Paper like Tomoe River paper, Mixed Media paper, watercolor paper… I fell in love with the Standard and then the Crossfield by Nanami Paper (it was part of their SevenSeas line), and then I found Taroko Design Shop on Etsy and fell in LOVE with the Enigma, which has notebooks with 68gsm artist Tomoe River paper. Then I found Brie from Documented Journey and she started creating B6 sized notebooks for sale in her Etsy shop with either mixed media paper, Tomoe River paper, or a mixture of the two. And I fell in love. 

But up until this past year, what never really fell in love with was my own art. Sure there were times when I thought I’d done well. When I actually liked something I’d done. When I felt like I deserved a pat on the back. But I wasn’t consistently producing work that I felt that way about. When things really started to change for me was when I finally finished a journal from start to finish (it had been after a bit of rut because my dad had been diagnosed with cancer (stage 4) and my husband was diagnosed with Crohns Disease (July 2017). My dad died on the fifth of October 2017, just a few months after the final diagnosis, my mom was admitted to ICU the very same day… needless to say I was all over the place (between healing and grieving my dad’s death, trying to make sure my mom didn’t also die from Sepsis (she’s better now), and taking care of things, trying to be a rock and a shoulder…well, let’s just say that after all of that I did not remotely feel creative). 

But when you’re a content creator you have to create. And the thing is– I love creating. I love Art. Words. Journaling. I love being creative–but I did not feel remotely like creating. I knew I had to do something, so I reached out to Brie and asked her to make me a customized notebook. That notebook and one she sent me as a prototype with Tomoe River paper in it saved my creativity–saved me in a way. Creativity is how I release stress, it’s how I reduce my anxiety, how I help keep depression at bay (in a way… there is not cure for it, but it does help me tremendously). I needed to be creative for myself, not just because I was a content creator. I still need to be creative for myself, not just for content. 

The thing about being creative is that whether you’re a beginner or an old hand at it, there are going to be times when you get in a rut. If you can get back to what people often call the beginner mindset, the “let’s have fun and play” attitude the blank page doesn’t look so daunting. What you’re creating isn’t about what anyone else thinks, it’s about how you felt when you were creating. It’s about the process not the result. When I stopped thinking about the result and started concentrating on the process. When I started enjoying the journey I was on creatively and stopped thinking about my ultimate destination… I unlocked something inside of myself and I started seeing not only my journals differently, art differently, but the world differently. 

Now, I’m not a professional. Nor do I consider myself to be an Artist, but I am an artist. I am a creative person. I Create, therefore I AM…In a way that’s very true, except I’d have to say it’s more the other way around… I AM, therefore I CREATE.  

Art is for anyone… it might not be for everyone, just as music or crocheting or writing or any other creative pursuit isn’t for everyone, but anyone can create art. It doesn’t matter whether you haven’t drawn anything but a few squiggles since elementary school, you can draw if you want to… the only way to get better at something is to practice. Below is the video that actually accompanies this long post… In the video I talk more about how Art is for Anyone or #artisforall. I think I’m going to start a new series on YT and call it Art if for All #artisforall. I’ve been thinking about posting those videos on Friday, which is supposed to be my Fun Day, or FRIYAY videos. 😀 The videos will be somehow related to how art is for anyone… from beginner art supplies, to my favorite art supplies, to how to stay creative, to how I create pages, sketches, what I am learning, have learned or want to learn… my goals in regard to my art, journals… 

Accompanying Video about Art is for All

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so very much. Make sure to leave me a comment and let me know what you think about #artisforall.

A Heartfelt Thank you to my Patrons on Patreon, as well as Kateri Ewing for her “Art is for Everyone” series on YT, and for all who have inspired me, helped keep me sane when my creativity was waxing and waning this past year, and for you… all of you! 

Getting my Groove Back

Be Authentic

Me, artwork by Brie Hatton

For the past few months, well really for a little over a year now, I’ve been finding my way through my new normal. When things change we often feel a bit out of sorts. I felt out of sorts in a variety of ways, but I tried to hold to being authentic. Being authentic isn’t always easy, especially when you’re grieving (people want to make you feel better, and you want to feel better, but grief ebbs and flows–and let’s face it,  after a while you get tired of being asked how you’re doing? and others sometimes feel awkward when your grief is brought up). To be an authentic person means honesty, openness, integrity. It’s being genuine, “authentic.” When you’re authentic, people find it refreshing to be around you, to get to know you, to interact with you. 

So why is being authentic sometimes hard? For the past few years, I’ve been honing my skills and techniques when it comes to journaling: art, handwriting, drawing, composition. And yet it often feels like the insurgence of messages from social media just keep telling me that unless my pages from social media don’t look aesthetically pleasing, which means damn near perfect, then the pages aren’t likely to be seen by many of my peers. However, the messages about being “authentic,” “progress not perfection,” “just be yourself” or “be true to yourself,” or “do it your way” are front and center. Seems like a bit of a contradiction to me. 

Visit to my Mom’s

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Don’t get me wrong,  phrases like “be authentic” or “progress not perfection” are positive and encouraging statements, even if they can seem a bit cliche,  are usually well-intended, but it’s not always easy to just be yourself, which is being authentic; or to let go of the anxiety you feel over your less than perfect but authentic watercolor of Thanksgiving when you’re constantly being bombarded by pictures, posts, videos, etc. that are damn near perfect. So you think to yourself… Hmm, maybe they photoshopped theirs–I sure wish I knew how to use Photoshop. Or maybe they took a class–maybe I should take a class. Or maybe they’ve been practicing for years–maybe I need to practice more. All three of those might be true, or just one of them might be true, yet it doesn’t matter, what matters is how you feel when you’re looking at those pictures–if you’re comparing yourself to others then you’re doing yourself an injustice.

Thanksgiving 2018

Creativity

Creativity is such a personal thing, from what and/or how we choose to be creative, to the mediums we use, to the execution, and the process. And yet, for those of us who are creative, especially those of us who are content creators, it is difficult to not feel at least a bit of anxiety, stress over uploading our images, posts, and/or videos on social media when every time you turn around someone is telling you that in order for you to succeed, to grow, to be well liked, and/or to be well received you need to curate your pictures, posts, videos. Or you need this background, or these supplies, or this camera, this type of cover photos, or this kind of thumbnail, or this kind of title or tags… the list is endless. 

New FitBit Blaze

All of those “things” that we supposedly need to be creative, to keep a journal or a sketchbook or planner, to make a video, to have a Youtube channel or a website/blog or an Instagram account… they are just that–things. Things that may or may not work really well for some. Things that some like and others don’t. In an age where there are more and more people choosing to live a more minimalist life, or who are striving to go deeper instead of wider (check “Depth Year’), I don’t get it. Well, maybe I don’t get why it took me so long to get that “less is sometimes more.” 

Flow

My Dad used to tell us that “there’s no such thing as can’t,” and for the longest time I reminded myself of that whenever I felt stuck, when I couldn’t figure out how to do something, or when I felt scared that I wasn’t smart enough or good enough or enough in general. But when my Dad died of cancer last year (October 2017) and my Mom was put into ICU and I was fighting to save her, fighting to keep her fighting, I learned what real strength is. What courage really means. My mom was in the hospital for 10 days and 9 nights. Her organs were shutting down when I signed her into the ER, and when they wheeled her into the ICU my Dad was still in one of the rooms because I had to leave my (grown) children with their grandfather so he wouldn’t be alone when he drew his last breath (after the respirator was pulled) so I could admit my mom into the hospital. It’s a year later and I’m finally starting to get my groove back. 

Homemade Banana Nut Bread

I’m finally starting to get back into the flow. My New Normal, as I like to call it. But it wasn’t until the past few months that I finally started to feel remotely normal. That I felt the kind of depth of creativity that I felt before going through such a traumatic experience–my creative well is a bit different now.  Now that I finally feel like my “authentic” self, there are a few things that I’ve noticed –even though I knew these things were out there, that I knew were an issue, I hadn’t let myself dwell on any of it too much–I had other things on my mind that were far more important; things like getting my creative groove back, like finding my way through grief and healing, like figuring out what my new normal was/is. 

I’m not a Pro at content creation, especially on Youtube, but I do know what I like when watching Youtube videos. I’m definitely not an Instagram guru–hell, some months I’m doing good if I post a few pictures, let alone one a day or even one a week. Nor am a I much of a Twitterer, or very good about Pinterest, but I’m starting to get a wee bit better at some things. However, the thing that has often held me back is that I rarely curate my photos, or my videos for that matter. The real question is why I haven’t gone the route of curating my photos, or making my videos, my YT channel, more curated. 

One of my curated efforts…

Progress not Perfection

Do I have to curate? No. My desk is often messy when I’m in the middle of creating. And as much as I wish I kept things really clean and clutter free, often my supplies are scattered all over my craft table and desk. Even when I’ve taken a bit of time to curate a photo there is still usually at least a wee bit of mess. Instead of a jar of fresh, clean water, or a clutter free area, I’ve simply moved a few things around so that you can clearly see what I want seen, and the rest is… well it’s how I roll. I love what I do. 

I love being creative. I love art, writing, journals, pens, watercolor, tomoe river paper, traveler’s notebooks, leather, markers, fountain pens, color… the list could go on, but the thing I love the most is any chance I have to be creative. I would love to be able to be creative with photos, to learn how to use Photoshop, to be able to create my own logo, to use said logo on my videos, my cover photo for YT, FB, etc… but the one thing I’m not real sure about, even when I do endeavor to learn how to use Photoshop, is to completely curate my photos. I want others out there, like me, to know that’s it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay to be messy when you create. It’s okay for your art not to be perfect. We’re human beings not robots, our creativity is priceless, perfect or not. The more we practice the better we get, but it’s the process of being creative that is important. It’s the journey not the destination (another cliche, I know). 

So I’ll continue to post pictures that aren’t perfect. Videos that aren’t perfect. I’ll continue to create art that isn’t perfect. I’ll continue to be myself and to be true to myself. And hopefully, that will help someone else who has struggled to be creative. I’ll continue to share some of what I  create even when many of my creations are no where near perfection. It’s truly not about perfection, it’s about the process, the progress–that’s what creativity and authenticity are to me. 

Listening to your Inner Compass

Snapshot 1 (9-4-2017 6-34 PM)

I woke up the other morning with every intention of filming a plan with me video for Youtube. I made my coffee. Set everything up. My checklist of things to do before I filmed was done, but it felt like I was missing something. I went over my list and everything looked in order. However, I still felt like something was missing. So I thought maybe I’d film a journal with me instead. Nope. Still felt like something was missing only this time I got the sneaky suspicion that what was missing had nothing to do with my list, but was in fact an internal issue. (This has been going on, on and off, for the past few months.)

Your inner knowing is your only true compass. ~Joy Page

I took a mental inventory of what I needed to do and everything was in order with my “to-do” list. I then proceeded to do a bit of journaling, a brain dump so I could clear my mind. About halfway into clearing my mind via pen to paper I realized: 1. I was tired of the same old same old plan with me’s. 2. I didn’t want to do a plan with me to just do one. 3. Nor did I want to do a journal with me–I was behind with my journal pages in my “art” journal and it felt like the blank pages were mocking me. And, 4. I felt stuck in a rut with the type of videos I was doing–perhaps it’s because deep down inside I knew that I didn’t want to do a plan with me or a journal with me because of said rut.

I opened the fountain pen, I think I was using one of my TWSBI Eco’s, and put pen to paper again, this time to figure out why I was in a rut–what the rut was really about. Two pages into journaling about why I wasn’t journaling (sounds like a real conundrum doesn’t it, lol), or planning, and why I didn’t want to film a plan with me or a journal with me these sentences I’d just wrote stood out:

I feel like a hypocrite–this isn’t working. My planning system isn’t helping me get organized, and if I can’t get organized how am I supposed to stay organized? If I’m only planning so that I can create the video then it’s fake. If it’s fake then I’m not being authentic. If I’m not being authentic then I’m a hypocrite. And if I haven’t been documenting my day for the past few days then creating pages simply to film a video doesn’t feel like “documenting my life,” it feels like…well, it feels like I’m a big fake. 

I stopped filming the plan with me’s for Youtube, and instead filmed some of the attempts to find my method of planning. I shared some of those on Patreon, where I felt like I could freely share that I was having some issues. However, I didn’t outright say, “Hey y’all, I feel like a big fake, a hypocrite.” But I did talk about some of my issues. I talked, and talked about them–probably to the point that I was just going in circles, but that’s how I felt and it felt like sharing about the rut I was in, the struggle I was having with my planning, especially, was cathartic. I’m sure my Patrons were really tired of hearing about it, but they have no idea of how much that helped me figure things out. 😀 I truly have a wonderful tribe of Patrons, YT subs, friends and followers.

“Something deep in the human soul awakens as things fall apart. Something in the soul knows that everything in this world can become lost. And something in the soul knows how to survive periods of devastation, disorientation and loss. Descent and falling is the way of the soul from its beginning. We each fell from the womb of life when the waters of the inner sea broke and it came time for us to breathe on our own.”
― Michael Meade, Why the World Doesn’t End: Tales of Renewal in Times of Loss

After quite a few “brain dumps,” I started creating pages in my “art” journal again. Documenting my day once again felt natural. I mixed things up. Flip flopped back and forth between journals, between illustrating my day, and documenting my day using ephemera, pictures, and a bit of art here and there. After a lot of flip flopping back and forth between the Hobonichi and my DIY hybrid Bullet Journal/Omni Journal, I started doing things differently–finding my own way. And that’s when things started to fall into place.

The more I followed my inner compass, my conscience and/or intuition, the more excited I was, the happier I was, and the more creative I felt. Did it all come together overnight? No. I have had to work at it. I’ve had to figure things out as I go. It’s trial and error. But over the past few years, but especially this past year, I’ve delved into my “Why’s,” as well as my “Why Not’s.” The more I know about my own self, the better I take care of myself, the happier I am, the more creative I am.

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~James Dean